For many of us, the outcome of this month’s presidential election was a disturbing event that affected our sense of safety and predictability in the world. This effect may vary depending on whether we’re part of a targeted group, such as transgender people or immigrants, and how much we have learned about the incoming president’s authoritarian statements and aspirations.
Taking care of ourselves emotionally is not a solution to all of the threats and challenges our world faces, but it’s often a necessary step if we’re going to respond effectively. As a therapist who works with trauma, there are several things I’ve learned that I find can help us navigate our responses to troubling world events.
Understanding the window of tolerance helps. The window of tolerance describes a state in which we are connected with our emotions, but not overwhelmed by them, a state in which we can think and feel at the same time. When we’re above our window (hyperarousal), our fight-or-flight systems are turned on, our thoughts are racing, our attention is often directed outward, and we might feel panicked, frantic, or enraged. When we’re below our window (hypoarousal), we numb to our emotions and shut down, dissociate, or freeze up. We might feel detached, slowed-down, spaced-out, or out of touch with our bodies.
Overwhelming events (or the memories of them) can cause either hyperarousal or hypoarousal, and both states keep us from being able to work through our emotions or solve problems. Learn to recognize when you’re outside your window, and, when you are, work on self-soothing and connecting with yourself in a caring way before you try to work through anything. Connecting with another person who is supportive can be a great way to get back into our window. Note, though, that being in your window of tolerance doesn’t mean you’re perfectly calm or happy. You can be sobbing or angry and still in that window where you can think and feel at the same time.
We struggle when our beliefs about the world are upended. One of the ways of working with trauma invites us to examine how a traumatic event broke our existing beliefs about the world. Common beliefs that are damaged by sudden traumatic events are “I can generally trust people” or “I’m safe in my day-to-day life.” Complex trauma that occurs early in life is more likely to damage our understanding of ourselves and relationships with others.
Having American politics swing outside of what has long provided some level of stability, and confronting the fact that many voters supported far-right candidates, troubles many of us because it erodes our assumptions about people and the world. When this happens after a trauma, it takes some work to adapt our beliefs without extreme overreaction. The brain overwhelmed by trauma tends to jump to beliefs like “I can never trust anyone” or “I’m never safe.” Reality, even when frightening, is always more nuanced, though, and we can benefit from reflecting on and questioning the mental jumps that we’ve made after a disturbing event. Examining which of our beliefs have been challenged can also be an opportunity to understand what’s upsetting us so deeply and practice self-compassion.
Caring for yourself is part of responding effectively. People who have survived a lot of trauma often get very good at putting their overwhelming emotions aside to care for others or respond to crisis, but this strategy catches up to you eventually in the form of depression, anxiety, burnout, and a diminished ability to experience the joys of life. While we shouldn’t expect ourselves to feel good all the time when faced with difficult realities, we need to pay attention to ourselves and give ourselves space to feel and express our emotions and rest when needed. We also need to find sources of joy, peace, connection, and inspiration in our lives. These things aren’t luxuries, they are part of keeping ourselves in working order so that we can do what we feel is right and be there for our communities when needed.
Building our emotional awareness and taking care of ourselves enables us to take meaningful action, which can be one of the most powerful healing experiences. Powerlessness is one of the feelings we struggle with in the face of oppression and injustice, and finding ways to take back power and create meaning in life is a start to healing both ourselves and the world.
Please take care of yourselves and others, you are needed more than ever! If therapy is a part of that picture for you, feel free to contact Bodhi Counseling.
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