Setting New Year’s resolutions is a classic tradition people participate in to set goals for
themselves to work towards for the year. Fun fact: the practice dates to ancient Babylonian culture 4,000 years ago! Enduring for as long as it has, setting resolutions for the year has served as a source of motivation and inspiration for many. However, according to an article published by Drive Research, around 92% of adults will not follow through on their resolutions. Clearly, there is a stark discrepancy between the initial motivation and maintaining that attitude throughout the year. Therefore, I want to discuss not only the possible benefits of setting New Year’s resolutions but the downsides and common mistakes people make with them.
A key benefit to setting a resolution for yourself is that it can provide structure and
direction for how you go about your year. Like any goal, it can offer you guidance on what productivity will look like for you, a specific timeframe to increase motivation, and an expectation of how the future will look different for you. Goal setting is a simple but
extraordinarily powerful tool to empower the self and make choices that most appropriately fit you. It can also help to reduce overthinking, making your desires feel overall less abstract. Common resolutions include improving health, and fitness, or starting a new hobby. All these resolutions, given appropriate access to resources and dedication, seem like relatively achievable goals at face value.
Circling back to that statistic cited earlier, something must not be working for a lot of
people. One common mistake people make is that they set goals that are unrealistic for
themselves. No matter how appealing an end result may sound, putting in the effort to bring it about is the hard part people naturally pay less attention to. Regardless of how enthusiastic an individual sounds when they make a resolution, everyone has their own set range of how motivated and consistent they can be. It is unlikely that someone will magically gain the diligence to lose a set amount of weight or drastically shift their diet when they likely lacked it previously. Characteristics like diligence, discipline, and consistency are skills – skills that require development over time. So, when people make lofty goals for themselves while lacking the diligence required to complete them, inconsistency and failure seem more probable.
Another common mistake people make is being too hard on themselves if they fail
altogether or do not make adequate progress at an expected pace. Burnout is real, and the impact it can have on any energy you would use for self-improvement must be considered. Common sentiments such as, “Today I wasn’t ‘productive’ enough”, “I caved and I did two cheat days in a row”, or “I can’t actually do this”, highlight the guilt and self-shaming many people experience as they perceive their lack of progress. Progress, however, is often nonlinear, and the pace and path it takes depends on both individuals themselves and circumstances. For example, a person can hardly blame themselves for not being as productive as they’d have liked during the height of Covid. Putting literal restrictions aside, it was a period that impeded everyone’s mood and motivation to varying extents.
How do we improve the art of making New Year’s resolutions and remedy some of these
mistakes? I offer three suggestions. First, set goals that make sense for you. Losing x number of pounds may be achievable for someone, but that someone may not be you – and that’s okay! Being realistic and accepting of who you are is a critical part of the growth process. Instead, set more incremental goals (i.e. monthly or weekly) that both encourage you to work toward them and help you structure your view of progress. On a related note, my second suggestion is to frame goals to indicate what specific qualities you’ll need to have to accomplish them. Instead of saying “I’m going to cut carbs!” or “I’m going on a low-sugar diet!”, you could say, “I’m going to cultivate the consistency, health consciousness, and self-love I need to eat a balanced, healthier diet”. Framing it this way not only indicates a desired result but clearly lays out how you are going to change as well. My third suggestion is to be kind and patient with yourself. This
is possibly the most challenging yet most essential component of progress. It is important to be mindful of how external stressors impact your mood and the maintenance of your routine. Certain circumstances may require plans to be adjusted accordingly. If you’re having one of the most stressful days of your life, maybe pairing dinner with some cookies wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen that day. Be flexible, be mindful, and remember that any progress is progress.
If you’ve recently experienced difficulties dealing with failure or are struggling to figure
out how to set appropriate goals for yourself, you’re welcome to schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists to assist you in structuring your life in ways that make sense for you.
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